Being single

Last night was the first meeting of my new Barnabas group. These are fellowship groups from my church that meet once a month. I am in a large group this time, 18 people. Most are couples, with the exception of 3 of us single women. One of the wives that doesn't know me asked which of the guys I belonged to. I replied, "Oh, none of them. I'm here by myself". It was hard to say. I thought most of the people in the church new about Bob, but I guess not. I know she didn't mean anything by it. If she had known my husband just died 4 1/2 months ago, she would have been mortified, but she didn't. It was surreal being their without a partner. I have spent my whole adult life being someone's wife, and now I am single. I sat next to a good friend of mine who is single because of a divorce. We were each other's support. I now understand why every time one of our groups has single women, they don't come very often. It's hard to live in a married world, when you're not. Even though I had a good time I came home and cried for an hour. I guess this adjustment is going to take a long time. I wish it would get better!