It is well with my soul!

Last night I went to a Christmas "Bereavement" group dinner at Harvest Christian fellowship with a friend. They had a lovely dinner and the pastor that spoke was really good. The best part was a singing group (lead singer was Hilary Watson). They were awesome! They ended the night with a story of Horatio Spafford, who after losing everything he owned in Chicago during the big Chicago fire decided to move to England. He sent his wife and four daughters ahead of him. He soon got news that there had been an accident at sea and his 4 daughtes had all drowned. He caught a boat to go to London to be with his grieving wife. When he came to the approximate place in the ocean where his daughters had drowned, he penned this song, which over 100 years later is still a favorite hymn. What awesome faith he had to say "It is well with my soul", amidst such heartbreak. Lord, give me this faith also!

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Amen!

Fighting Depression

I was reading a mailer from Kaiser's Grief Support that talked about common problems at certain times in the grief process. It seems I am right on schedule. About 2 days before the 6 month mark of Bob's death I started feeling very depressed. At first I thought I was getting sick because I felt so exhausted. But the lethargy continued and for weeks I could hardly get out of bed. It was all I could do to go to work each day. My thoughts were foggy, and I had a hard time concentrating. I cried at the drop of a hat. I didn't feel like eating (very strange for me). Then I read the newsletter that said depression seems to hit around the 6 month mark and can last up to 6 months. At least I know I'm "normal", which is comforting in a weird way! My middle son also complained to me that he was feeling the say way. I shared that this was normal. While it is "normal", it is still very distressing. I am not prone to depression. I generally am very energetic and motivated to get things done. So as the dishes, laundry and duties piled up, I became distressed. I cried out to God in prayer... "Please lift these feelings"! I read my bible every day. I forced myself to do things around the house. That was 6 weeks ago, and I am feeling slow bits of recovery. I have started cleaning again and unfortunately, my appetite is coming back. I'm not crying as often! On Bob's birthday (last sunday) I actually felt periods of joy remembering some wonderful birthdays we had shared together. I think God allowed me to go through this so that I can relate to others when they express depressed feelings. It's all part of the process. I, for one, am ready to get on with this process of grief and have a normal life again. The problem is that it will never be "normal" again, and part of grief is adjusting to that idea. Oh well, I'm rambling. Just needed to do a little venting. I pray for others who are going through this difficult and taxing process. God is there for us, cry out to Him!